The IU Board of Trustees recently announced it will be putting a hefty $250 million investment into Indiana University’s future infrastructure. Sure, that means new athletic facilities and parking garages, but I’m not one to keep things in context. No one’s going to brag that IU has a state-of-the-art $32 million multidisciplinary building, right? So, why not get some bang for your buck?
Below, I’ve provided a few suggestions that would knock the socks off of any visiting alum. Take some note, trustees—Papa Bear has been sitting on these gems for awhile.
The IU Board of Trustees, if this were Hawaii University and our board was actually a small army Okay, so we’ve got this university legend who passed away and all we’ve done to honor him is rename our largest library and throw a life-size bronze statue of him in the arboretum he established? When I see bronze, I think third place in Mario Kart. And life-size? The man was larger than life, so a 40-foot golden statue is only fitting.
Public saunas and hot tubs on Kirkwood — $10 million: I have a lot of differences with most New Yorkers at IU, but one thing I can agree with them on is that our homeless problem is just that. Some solutions to the socio-economic catastrophe include subsidizing food and shelter, but why not treat B-town’s finest like kings and queens? Next time you decide to walk to Jimmy John’s, no one will ask you for spare change because he’s busy taking a long, long nap in the hot tub…
The best party ever — $250 million: I’ve attended my fair share of IU galas, but none of them have been that great. The truth is, a party with such epic proportions invested in it can not be a bad party, nor can it be a bad thing for the university. All students and alumnus are invited—so they’re happy—and the event makes CNN, putting us back where we belong at #1 for the party schools.
IU Board of Trustees to fund $250 million party
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