In several days, we’ll all be heading to our first classes and sitting next to some of the more attractive members of those classes. While this is certainly an attempt to form bonds between class members in hopes of creating a proactive common goal with education as the premium, you also just want to get into his or her pants, right?
One thing’s for sure—the first decisions you make are crucial and can mean the difference between being the stuck-up freak who sits in the back row, or the confident jerk who scores all the ladies (the latter is usually yours truly). Here are a couple of tidbits for making your first move your best move:
Come prepared with your syllabus and some icebreakers: There is a general rule that the more attractive you are, the more likely you will be to not come prepared to class. There also exists a universal imbalance in the number of syllabi teachers prepare to hand out on the first day of class. Take advantage of both of these rules by sitting next to the hottest girl and being her hero when the professor runs out of said syllabi.
Note: Don’t settle for giving her the syllabus. Even though you know the grade scale and that talking isn’t allowed, be interested in the material, leaning over to make sure you and your new hot girlfriend understand the class code of conduct. Be sure to interject a few whispered questions to her and follow through with cheesy remarks like, “Wow, thanks, you’re a freakin genius…” You should be making out by the time the prof gets to the “Rudeness Policy” paragraph.
Embrace the name game: Every professor has a fifteen minute period of awkwardness that will never be approached again for the remainder of the year. This is your moment to shine. Make a complete ass of yourself and save the class from boredom. Act as if knowing everyone’s name will determine your ability to sleep that night, and apologize every time you screw up. If all goes according to plan, you’ll know the girl’s favorite color and have her number, which you will dial next Saturday at 2am while inebriated in your friend’s basement.
Scoring Totally Hot Chicks: First Day of Class
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