I know for an unfortunate few of you this article is coming a few days late, but hopefully you still have time to avert a finals disaster and escape a career path that involves stocking shelves for Wal-Mart.
DON’T sleep through your exam
Now I know the increased Adderal usage might have you staying up way too late, but you should probably try and get up for the actual exam. I mean, that is why you’ve been pulling 30-hour days for the past week.
If bathroom breaks aren't allowed, these may equal trouble
On the bright side, sprinting to your class does do wonders to get your brain warmed up. You’re going to need all the help you can get to finish that 2-hour test in 25 minutes. If there's no way you can get to your test before it's over, go back to sleep and rest assured that you'll already know how to do most of the homework when you take it next semester.
DON’T leave your phone off during the test
This might have been the hip way to cheat back in middle school but you shouldn’t leave yourself open to the embarrassment of having your $1.99 “My Hump” ringtone break the concentration of 200 chemically jacked-up students. Bonus points if you don’t turn off your phone and that annoying guy that already failed all of his classes perseveres until he inevitably ends on your speakerphone loudly wondering why the hell you hung up on him.
DON’T eat that Hot Pocket for lunch
Yes they always look so appealing on the packaging, but these really aren’t a great idea when you’re about to sit down for a two-hour test. If you aren’t distracted enough by your scorched taste buds, you’ll be wishing you could chug a bottle of Pepto-Bismol halfway through the multiple choice questions. You might as well stick a fork in yourself because you’re going to be done by the essay portion. Just try not to pull a Richard from Van Wilder and get to a bathroom before the classroom trash can becomes the best option.
DON’T go to your test drunk and/or high
This might be a no-brainer to most but you’d be surprised. One of the top study tips posted in the Wells Library states “limit your alcohol and marijuana use.” This leaves a lot of gray area that really depends on your definition of “limit,” but it definitely has merit. Sometimes those 3 extra shots of Jose last a little bit longer than expected. You may have a little bit of trouble spelling out your own name correctly if you even make it to your test without getting picked up by the IUPD. Also, taking a hit of that chronic won’t help you calm your nerves, but it will turn all those physics equations that you just learned into a strange form of Chinese.
DON’T finish your test in 25 minutes
For God’s sake, everyone already knows that you’re the smartest one in the class. You don’t need to rub it in by finishing the test before half the class has even gotten there yet. Your time isn’t that important yet if you’re taking Philosophy 101, so at least humor your less gifted peers and make up new scientific theories on the back of your test for an extra 20 minutes.
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