The costume you didn't choose... - IUplanet: Indiana Hoosier forums, sports, recruiting, photos, and Indiana University news

David Burkart · 10-27-2007, 08:49 PM

As Halloween approaches, I’m sure everyone has decided on their kind-of-creative-but-no-it’s-not-that-funny costumes. We think we have the edge going into the creative thought process, but inevitably realize that the store has done the thinking for us. But it takes a few random, completely implausible ideas before we come to that conclusion. Chances are you went through some of these thought processes before you gave up and bought the Slutty Nurse costume from that shop on 10th and 46.

Hmmm, okay. What’s a great movie that everybody knows, but isn’t that mainstream so the costume will still be hilarious? BRATZ did a movie, but no one saw it and I don’t want to look like a preadolescent slut. Ratatouille was outstanding, funny, and appropriate for all ages…but no one would get why I’m a rat, or what the movie’s called that my costume is referencing. Damn. Oh, oh oh! Everyone loved Knocked Up, and it goes with the whole college thi—oh wait, I’m back to the BRATZ issue. Any character from Transformers would be a show-stopper. It would just take a lot of time and effort, and the Optimus Prime outfit wouldn’t get me laid. I’d probably have to burn it.

Movies seem like a bust. What about TV shows, though? People love sitcoms and they’re really easy to do! Hmmm, well I’m a big fan of Family Guy, but I’d have to talk like Peter Griffin all night. Not getting laid. How about Heros? Well everyone loves that Asian guy, but I couldn’t pull off the Asian guy look, and couldn’t figure out a trick to control the space-time continuum by Wednesday. Grey’s Anatomy is hot, but I don’t want to support a show whose title features a guy’s “anatomy,” which to me, translates to “nuts.”

Jesus, this is harder than I thought. What about worldly figures? What has happened in the past few months that people would latch onto immediately? Google: “2007 big news.” Okay, bypassing all of the shooting, killing, massacres. ..got it! Britney showed some skin, made a "comeback" and lost her kids—but I couldn’t pull off a Britney. Al Gore won a Nobel Peace Prize, but he’s pretty boring. I give up.

So as I make my departure to begin trick-or-treating, I wish you luck with your costume ideas and Halloweening. This is two years in a row for my Slutty Nurse outfit, but it was just too big of a hit last year and I couldn’t pass it up. Wish me luck.